| |
| SADDAM
CAPTURED |
| $25 million reward will be given to tyrant's
disgruntled former barber. |
|
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Half of New Iraqi Army Quits
Over Pay
They can get a better dental plan
fighting for insurgents. |
|
UN: At Present Birth Rate,
Earth's Population Will Be 134
Trillion in 2300
Or 134, if there's a nuclear war. |
| |
| MILESTONES |
|
 Dec. 17,
1903: Wright Brothers
Successfully Fly First
Airplane
But their luggage ends up
on another flight. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Bush Signs Sweeping Medicare
Bill
Sweeps Medicare under the rug. |
|
Customer Complaint Center
Jobs Moving Overseas
Number one complaint: customer complaint
center jobs moving overseas. |
|
FCC: You Can't Take it
With You
New rules forbid consumers from keeping
their phone number when they die. |
| |
REMINDER
Smile, you're
under twenty-four
hour surveillance. |
|
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| |
|
Bush May Revive Moon Program
“Operation Lunar Freedom” would
involve preemptive landing, lengthy
occupation, years of chaos. |
|
Following Videotaped Beating,
Cincinnati Considers Stun Guns
Some want police to have them, others
want everyone but the police to
have them. |
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