| RELIGION |
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Faithful
Flock to Tree Stump
Resembling Virgin Mary in
Passaic, New Jersey
One of only 343 tree
stumps in Passaic that
look like her. |
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| FACTOID |
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One in Seven Americans Has at
Least One Tattoo
That they remember getting. |
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| TRAVEL |
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Brits Announce Last Flight of
Supersonic Concorde
Couldn't compete with slower planes that
sold more liquor. |
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| SPORTS |
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Top Athletes Subpoenaed in
Expanding Steroid Probe
Feds to interview man who pole-vaulted
sixty feet, woman who ran three-minute
mile, and Barry Bonds. |
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Nudist World
Series Won by Sarasota
Streakers
Upset New York Nakeds,
four games to two. |
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According to a senior
White House aide,
Democratic hopeful John,
excuse me, Howard Dean,
is a cross-dresser . . .
A highly placed
administration source
informs me that Gen.
Wesley Clark was
responsible for thousands
of deaths in Bosnia . . .
Someone who works in the
White House reports that
Hillary Clinton’s
dog-eared copy of the
Communist Manifesto was
found in an upstairs
closet . . . The
Democrats have changed
the site of their
convention next year to
Havana, according to Karl
Rove- I mean a
high-ranking
administration official.
That’s all for now.
(Robert Novak is a
syndicated columnist and
spy for North Korea.) |
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| PICTURE OF THE
WEEK |
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Dogs Decide
to Organize
New twelve-member council
(shown) will establish
rules for all walks,
naps, and when and where
to pee. |
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