Ironic Times

 NO. 118 "Expect the Ironic" DECEMBER 16 - 22, 2002 

Dec 9
Dec 23

 
  Loud Blasting Beneath Cheney's House Has Everybody Guessing
Public asked what it thinks is going on below Vice President's official residence.
 
Expanding panic room ... 11%
Pulverizing documents ... 23%
Digging tunnel to Hell ... 14%
Meth lab ... 8%
Installing Jacuzzi in bunker ... 18%
Building official library ... 16%
 
WORLD NEWS
Bush: Iraq's 12,000-Page Declaration is Weapon of Mass Destruction
If dropped.
Cherie Blair Mixed Up With
Con Man, Topless Model

Labor Party trying to revive tabloids, stimulate economy.
 
MILESTONES
Strom Thurmond Celebrates 100th Birthday
Bob Dole's gift of Viagra gets the party started.
U. S. NEWS
Congressional Committee Proposes Cabinet-Level Intelligence Czar
Would spy on rest of Cabinet.
Fed Judge: Congress Can't See Cheney's Energy Task Force Documents
Told to stick to constitutional functions of meeting with lobbyists, appearing on TV.
Park Service Rebuilding Manzanar War Relocation Center as Tourist Attraction
Or, if needed, concentration camp.
 
REMINDER
  Never put off till tomorrow what you
  can avoid doing altogether.
 
Conservatives Challenge Funding for Legal Aid Before Supreme Court
Argue justice not intended for those who
can't afford it.
Report: Teen Chastity,
Abstinence on the Rise

Reaching crisis proportions.
GOP Discovers Global Warming
"Deeply concerned" about lack of snow in upscale ski resorts.
 
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