BUSH MEETS
WITH SOUTH AFRICAN
PRESIDENT MBEKI
Mistakenly refers to him as
“one of the most
punishing running backs
I've ever seen.” |
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|
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
 |
Rappers, Shock Jocks, Stand-Up
Comics Meet to Address Profanity Crisis
Supply of shocking words exhausted, new taboos
desperately needed. |
|
Liposuction Storage Tank Bursts;
Beverly Hills Buried in Massive
Fat Slide
Rescue crews still searching for celebrity
survivors. |
|
Graphic Violence, Sex Driving
Summer Box Office Bonanza
Studio heads say they are
“profoundly sorry” |
|
“The Fast and the Furious” is #1
Action film reverses 100 hours of
Drivers' Ed. per viewing. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
 |
Disney Buys
New York Stock Exchange
No major changes foreseen. |
|
|
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
HMO's Blame “A Few Bad
Apples” for Problems
Small minority of troublemakers get sick,
demand costly medical attention. |
| |
THEATER
REVIEW
 "The
Producers"
Review by
Adolf
Hitler
Adapted from his movie of
the same name, Mel
Brooks' The
Producers is a
brooding, serious study
of post-war anti-Aryan
hysteria fueled by
leftist, mostly Jewish,
intellectuals. While not
intended to be funny, the
play elicits nervous
laughter from the
audience at times, a
minor distraction.
Otherwise, a
thought-provoking two
hours in the theater. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
 The building at right was
misidentified as the Clear-Cutting, Oil
Drilling, Strip Mining & Nuclear
Power Public Relations Society & Spa.
It is, in fact, the Environmental
Protection Agency. |
|
