Ironic Times

NO. 15 "Expect the Ironic" DECEMBER 25 - 31, 2000

Dec 18
Jan 1
PERSON OF THE YEAR
AL GORE
After serving as Vice President for eight years of unmatched economic prosperity, Mr. Gore ran for President of the United States and won the popular vote by more than 540,000, a margin five times greater than John F. Kennedy's over Richard Nixon in 1960.
 
WORLD NEWS
Pope's Christmas Message of Hope Heard by Two Billion
Pontiff, in shift, says it's "every man for himself."
Santa and Reindeer Shot Down by U.S. Jets Over Iraq
"Should have known about no-fly zone," says State Department.
La Niña, El Niño’s Successor, Subsiding
Being replaced by Los Lobos.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
NEW HEAD IN RUSSIA
Critics complain it’s "the same old Putin."
U. S. NEWS
Cheney Finally Told of Victory
News withheld "for health reasons."
Bush Concludes Minority Hiring with Blind, Black, Native American Lesbian
Rest of appointments will be white men.
First Post-Inaugural Moves Announced
Bush will immediately begin work on plans for his presidential library in Texas.
 
BUSINESS
AFTER 100 YEARS, OLDS FOLDS
Public found styling out of date, new models underpowered. Cutlass convertible (shown) never caught on with younger drivers.
Movie Studios Fear Latest
Digital Threat
Hollywood honchos are worried about MyFreeFullLengthMotionPicture.com’s effect on profits.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
EXCLUSIVE FROM SCOTLAND: 
Madonna Reveals Future Plans
Will wed next husband on tropical island in Pacific.
 
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