GOD
SIDES WITH BUSH
The
President-elect and Mrs.
Bush bask in all His
glory.
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SNEAK
PEEK AT BUSH INAUGURAL:
Speech
refers to "much
kinder, gentler"
government, and
"eleven hundred
points of light." |
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| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Osama bin Laden Signs with Hamas
in 10-Year Pact Worth 100 Mil
Free agent becomes highest paid
terrorist; small market
cells can't compete. |
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Content Shortage Crisis Threatens
Global Economy
Running out of jokes, says UN panel. |
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| SPACE |
|
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THREE
TENORS TO FLY ON SHUTTLE
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| Mission will study effects of
weightlessness on the ego. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Bush Will Fight for Election
Reform
Calls for all 50 states to switch to
"butterfly" ballots. |
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GOP Reaches Out to Dems on Health
Care Program for Strom Thurmond
Plan would provide 98 year-old Senator
unlimited organ transplants. |
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Paid Political Demonstrators
Anxious About Future
With election resolved, they're
out of work. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Post-Election Bounce Collides with
Year-End Rally
Produces unexpected
crash. |
 REMINDER
Only
six more shopping days
until you have a nervous
breakdown. |
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| HIGH TECH |
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New Intel Chip Way Too Fast
Will be slowed down before reaching
market. |
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Robotic Cats Hitting Stores Next
Fall
Won't respond to the human
voice, like real cats. |
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