Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 5 - 11, 2024
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PEOPLE
Report: For Decades, Even in Art of the Deal, Trump Claimed He Was Swedish
“He was just kidding,” says campaign spokesman.
 
BUSINESS
Report: More Homeless
People Have Jobs

They live, work in their Uber.
Airlines Scrap “Junk Fee”
Charge When Parents,
Children Sit Together

Realized parents would gladly pay a junk fee to not sit with their children.
Chevron Moving Headquarters From California to Texas
Company decides it's had a little too much of California's goody two-shoes save the planet silliness.
Coca-Cola to Pay $6 Billion
in Back Taxes and Interest

Trump asks Coke to contribute $2 billion to his campaign, promises full IRS refund, plus double interest when elected.
SCIENCE
Oldest Inhabited Termite
Mounds Have Been Active
for 34,000 Years

Local pest control authorities assure public they'll soon be tented.
Ancient DNA Suggests There
Were Multiple Waves of
Interbreeding Between Early
Modern Humans and
Neanderthals

Think Spring Break.
Water Found in Lunar Rock Samples
“Who spilled their drink?!” screamed director of lunar rock research.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Needles, CA Beats Out
Phoenix as July's Hottest City

News prompts thousands of Phoenix residents to pack up, move to Needles.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Vegan Diet Slows Biological Aging After Eight Weeks
You begin to feel better, younger, more vigorous, and desperate for a 10-oz. ribeye.

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