Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 15 - 21, 2024
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TECHNOLOGY
  Report: Use of Word “Delve” in Submitted Online Papers Indicates They're Most Likely AI-Generated
Concludes, “we need to delve deeper into this.”
 
EDUCATION
Biden Announces Student Debt
Relief in Pitch to Swing States

You'll get debt relief as long as you live in Michigan, Arizona, Georgia, Wisconsin, or Pennsylvania.
 
LAW
Jury Selection Begins in
Trump Hush Money Trial

Potential jurors instructed: no MAGA hats in courtroom.
 
SPORTS
MLB: Ohtani's Ex-Interpreter Charged With Stealing $16 Million From Him to Pay Off Over $40 Million in Gambling Losses
He told bookies he was “good for $700 million.”
FEATURE
Researchers recently sent out 80,000 fictitious résumés to hundreds of companies. Presumed white applicants were favored over presumed black applicants. By what percentage?
   A )  2%  
   B )  3%  
   C )  4%  
   D )  9.5 %  
Hint: we have a colorblind society, except when it comes to black and white.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Librarians Fear Prison as Book-Banning Wars Escalate
When asked “what are you in for,” no one wants to answer “The Catcher in the Rye.”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Trump Touts Cognitive Skills Citing He's Related to an MIT Professor
“We're both geniuses because of our D and A,” he adds.

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