Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 15 - 21, 2024
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PEOPLE
Trump's Ex-CFO Weisselberg Sentenced to Another Term of 5 Months at Rikers Island
“This time maybe he'll come visit me,” he says, wistfully.
Trump Compares Himself
to Nelson Mandela

Also Alexei Navalny, Jesus Christ, Al Capone, John Gotti.
 
BUSINESS
Rising Inflation Could Impact Voters' Choices
“The hell with democracy, have you seen the price of doughnuts?” complains one voter.
Trump Falls Off Bloomberg's
List of 500 Wealthiest People

He says he'll sue.
Report: AI Will Replace
Most Entry-Level Jobs
in Finance, Wall Street

News prompts many college students to switch major from Economics to Egyptology.
SCIENCE
Monkey Survives Two Years
With Miniature Pig's Heart

However, miniature pig lives only two weeks with monkey's heart.
 
ENVIRONMENT
EPA Sets Limits on “Forever Chemicals” in Drinking Water
Manufacturers vow to join forces, come up with “a better name” for them.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Arizona Supreme Court Reinstates 1864 Law Banning Abortion
Also reinstates 1864 law banning women from wearing shoes, leaving the kitchen.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, in an article about besieged House Speaker Mike Johnson, we ran this picture, suggesting he was stranded on a remote island in the Pacific. In fact, the picture was posted by Marjorie Taylor Greene as a threat to Johnson, who is still at his home in Washington, DC. We regret the error.

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