Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 8 - 14, 2024
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CONSUMER NEWS
“Storm the Capitol” Board Game Goes on Sale
“For insurrectionists of all ages!”
 
LAW
Trump's Lawyer: Kavanaugh Will “Step Up” and Back Trump
“And not just because he owes his lifetime appointment to him or anything,” she adds.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Poll: More Republicans Side With
Trump, Jan 6 Insurrectionists
Than in 2021

They've given it more thought.
 
SPORTS
13-Year-Old Becomes First Person to Defeat Original Tetris Game
Prodigy says he hopes to one day work in a shipping warehouse catching and sorting boxes.
FEATURE
Since 2000, the average U.S. family health insurance premium rose by how much?
   A )  10%  
   B )  15%  
   C )  20%  
   D )  270%  
Hint: ignore the incessant coughing.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Trump Shares Video of Him Being Sent by God to Save World
“I'm God's retribution, ” he tweets.
 
BREAKING NEWS
Illinois: Trump Refuses to Sign McCarthy-Era Pledge to Not Overthrow Country
Pledges instead that he won't overthrow country “if I win.”

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