PEOPLE |
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Stacey Abrams
Makes Cameo Appearance on Star Trek:
Discovery
She plays an interplanetary candidate
for Governor of Georgia. |
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Facebook to Allow Hate Speech
Regarding Russia, Putin
But what about MY hate speech?
complains Donald Trump. |
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BUSINESS |
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704 Billionaires Got $1.7 Trillion
Richer During Pandemic
Including several who bought
masks for a quarter, sold them
for seventy-five cents. |
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Heineken
Launches Virtual Beer in Metaverse
Adds disclaimer: pretend you're drinking
responsibly. |
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Russia: Suddenly, McDonald's
Replaced by Uncle Vanya Fast
Food Restaurants
They had just enough time to turn
the logo sideways. |
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SCIENCE |
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NASA: New Rocket
Will Send Most Diverse
Crew to Moon by 2025
Including a beautful black woman,
a brainy Asian guy, and an asexual
fellow with pointy ears. |
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Scientists Create
a Fabric That Can Hear
If only it could talk, says one. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Smoking Decreased During Pandemic,
While Candy Consumption Boomed
You may have noticed that your
obese, toothless neighbor has
stopped coughing. |
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CORRECTION |
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Last week, in a story about
Russian oligarchs, we described this super yacht
as having anti-aircraft capabilities equal to that
of a small battleship. We meant to say,
superior to that of a small battleship.
We regret the error. |
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