| PEOPLE |
 |
 Israel Opens
Floating Cinema For Coronavirus-Safe Viewing
Unfortunately, most left well before
end of Jaws. |
|
|
UK: New Guidance Advises
Filmmakers to Avoid Sex
Scenes to Protect Actors
And stop screwing ingenues. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Average CEO Pay Rose to
$21.3 Million Last Year, Could
Rise Again Despite Pandemic
But frozen turkeys at Christmas are
out due to an abundance of caution. |
|
Apple Becomes First U.S.
Company Worth $2 Trillion
$1 trillion if they paid U.S. taxes. |
|
 Goldman Sachs
Unveils its Own Font, Goldman
Sans
You'll begin noticing it in your
foreclosure letter. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Study: Smiling More Often Tricks
Your Brain Into Feeling Happy
Though it occasionally leads to a
punch in the mouth. |
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
|
 Trump Opens Up Arctic
Refuge to Drilling
McDonald's in Alaska promises
Caribou McNuggets once drilling
starts. |
|
|
Death Valley Hits 130º, Third
Hottest Ever Recorded
But it dips down to low 100s at night,
so bring a sweater. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Scientists Grow First Functioning
Mini Human Heart Model
Eventually they'll be grown in quantity
and sold to Silicon Valley billionaires. |
|
Study: Mindfulness, Meditation Can
Worsen Depression and Anxiety
Suggests twelve-step program to
overcome mindfulness. |
|
