Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 22 - 28, 2019
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TECHNOLOGY
  World's Biggest Plane Flies
For First Time

Two fuselages allow for complete separation of first class, coach.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
New York City's Population Dips for First Time in Over a Decade
New ad campaign will encourage New Yorkers to “Just Do It!”
 
POLITICS
Buttigieg Prefers Being Called “Mayor Pete”
Hopes to be called President Mayor Pete.
 
SPORTS
MLB: League Tacitly Encouraging Players to Flip Bats After Home Runs
Flamboyant bat flips lead to retaliatory beanballs, leading to bench-clearing brawls, which fans love.
FEATURE
The Mueller report concluded:
A )Trump was blameless in his behavior.
B )Trump's aides wanted to commit crimes but he talked them out of it.
C )Trump never even thought about thwarting the investigation.
D )Trump committed obstruction of justice many times but can't be prosecuted because of some unwritten rule.
Hint: they might want to rewrite that unwritten rule.
 
LAW
Kentucky Outlaws Bestiality
To relief of many, new law not retroactive.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Japan: Robot That Tidies Up Bedrooms Undergoes Tests
Final test: college dorm room.

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