Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 11 - 17, 2019
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PEOPLE
Unlike Predecessors, China's President Xi to Let Hair Turn Gray
Now everyone has to.
 
BUSINESS
Report: Income Inequality at
Its Highest Point Since Just
Before Great Depression

Not that history repeats itself or anything.
Reagan's Former Budget Director
Calls Trump “Delusional,
Unhinged Madman”

David Stockman says he wants to take Trump “out to the woodshed.”
Study: 8 in 10 Consumers Want Name Brands to Take Stand on Issues
Like Hebrew National calling for two-state solution.
 
FASHION
Micro Handbag That Can Hold Only a Few Mints Becomes Fashion Sensation
Purse-snatchers hate it.
SCIENCE
Study: Listening to Music
While Doing Work Significantly
Impairs Creativity

In concurrent study, enjoyment of music significantly diminished while working.
Superhuman Robots Will
Outstrip Mankind Within
50 Years, Warns AI Expert

Faster, stronger, smarter, tireless, less prone to frivolity, introspection, lollygagging.
 
There's Evidence of Hidden Door Beneath the Sphinx
May reveal the mysteries of the universe and/or mops, brooms.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Lifting Weights Healthier Than Running, Walking, or Cycling
Fewer than one in a million run over, assaulted, attacked by dogs while lifting weights.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Administration Wants to Take Gray Wolf Off Endangered Species List
And put foxes in henhouses.

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