Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 18 - 24, 2019
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PEOPLE
Women's Organization in Virginia Supports Lt. Governor Fairfax
Insist none of their members have been raped or sexually assaulted by him.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Broadway Actors Secure Share
Of Show's Profits, After They've
Recouped Expenses

Note: Oklahoma has yet to report a profit.
 
BUSINESS
U.S. Debt Tops $22 Trillion
A GoFundMe drive has raised a few thousand dollars.
Investment Tip of the Week
Mexican ladder manufacturers.
Amazon Pulls Out of Massive New York City Deal
Mayor hopes to lure Barnes and Noble to fill void.
SCIENCE
New York's Metropolitan
Museum of Art to Return
Artifact Plundered from Egypt

“Coffin of Nedjemank has been nothing but trouble: plagues of locusts, famine, pestilence, you name it,” says museum spokesperson.
Study: Chimpanzee Sign Language Mimics Human Speech
According to team of chimps studying this phenomenon.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Report: Plummeting Insect Numbers “Threaten Collapse of Nature”
“Something must be done,” says Orkin spokesman.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Half as Many Children Die From Gun Injuries in States With Strict Gun Control Laws
NRA: “But at what cost?”
 
FACTOID
400 Richest Americans Own
More Than 150 Million of
Nation's Poorest

And they're all running for president.

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