| MISCELLANEOUS |
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| International Church of |
 Cannabis Now One of
America's Fastest- Growing Congregations
Congregations allowed to munch snacks
during services. |
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| |
| EDUCATION |
|
DeVos Names Former Associate Dean of
For-Profit College That Settled FCC
Fraud Lawsuit for $100 Million to Head
Education Department Unit That Polices
Colleges for Student Aid Fraud
“It takes a thief to catch a thief,”
explains Sec. of Education. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
 MLB: Boston
Red Sox Caught Using Apple Watches
to Steal Signals
Shown: Apple CEO Tim Cook before throwing
out first pitch, then homering twice against
Yankees. |
|
|
| FEATURE |
| |
Outgoing Message
from the Department of State
“Hello, you have reached the Department of State.
No agents are currently available to take your call. If you
are calling in regard to isolating Chinese banks that are
supplying North Korea and enabling their nuclear weapons
program, be assured that some day, when the hiring freeze
has been lifted, we will have enough staff to work on this.
In the meantime, you may call the Department of Justice
or the Treasury Department, which are also experiencing
personnel shortages, and may also be unable to take your
call. Thank you, and have a wonderful day.” |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
 |
 Report:
President Furious Emir of Kuwait's Plane
Larger Than Air Force One
Doesn't like that his harem is bigger either. |
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