Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 24 - 30, 2017
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MISCELLANEOUS
  Tropical Storms Don, Hillary Weaken
In the Sea of Metaphors.
Study: Mushrooms Safest Recreational Drug
And an excellent source of fiber.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Elon Musk Plans 29-Minute New York-to-DC Hyperloop
Would be godsend to handful of wealthy commuters, once displacement of fifty-eight million residents and boring of 200-mile tunnel is completed.
Artificial Intelligence Can Now Figure Out Dish's Recipe From Photo
Coke formula, Special Sauce, eleven herbs and spices no longer secrets.
 
LAW
Trump Looks Into Pardoning Himself
A circumstance the Founding Fathers somehow never anticipated.
FEATURE
Which of the following did new White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci not say Donald Trump can do?
A )Throw a “dead spiral“ through a tire.
B )Swish free throws while wearing a topcoat at Madison Square Garden.
C )Sink three-foot putts.
D )Govern.
Hint: He threw a perfect strike once on opening day.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Mme. Tussaud's Takes Down Bad Wax Statue of Beyoncé
Will replace it with bad wax statue of Rihanna.

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