MISCELLANEOUS |
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Pepsi Withdraws
"Black Lives Matter" Ad Starring Kendall Jenner
After thousands of angry, offended protesters
shut down PepsiCo headquarters, bottling plants. |
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TECHNOLOGY |
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Report: Soon, Cars Will Read Your
Expressions, Act Accordingly
For example, drive off a cliff. |
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EDUCATION |
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Harvard Wants to Rewrite Alma Mater
Phrase Bearers of Love Till the
Stock of the Puritans Die
Now that the last Puritan alum has died. |
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SPORTS |
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Report: NFL
Teams Forced Drugs on Players to Keep
Them on Field
Then forced them to take drug tests so they
could suspend them without pay. |
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FEATURE |
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By attacking Syria, Donald
Trump has put the United States |
A ) | on a steep
and slippery slope |
B ) | ever deeper
into a quagmire |
C ) | on the very
edge of the abyss |
D ) | up Shit Creek
without a paddle in a chicken wire canoe |
E ) | on the path
to peace |
(Hint: Only one of the above answers is totally wrong.) |
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TRAVEL |
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Companies Offering Submersible
Vessel Tours of Titanic for $100,000
Or, with a tablespoon of baking soda you could
replicate dive in bathtub. |
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ODDS 'N' ENDS |
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Peeps Pizza
Appears in Time for Easter
Also available: Peeps on a matzoh for our
Jewish friends. |
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