POLITICS |
|
Joe Piscopo
Considers Running for Governor of New Jersey
As an unfunny Republican. |
|
|
BUSINESS |
|
Mall of America to Name
A Writer-in-Residence
For one year a Thomas Pynchon, say, will work
on his next novel in the back of the Hallmark
store. |
|
Grocery Trade Groups Ask
Manufacturers to Choose
Between Use by and Best
if used by Labels
And Best if never used. |
|
MEDIA |
|
|
|
Washington Post Unveils New
Motto: Democracy Dies in Darkness
Beats out Home of Highly Placed Sources Who
Speak Anonymously and Free Shipping With
Prime Membership. |
|
SCIENCE |
|
|
|
NASA: Seven Habitable Earth-
Like Planets Discovered
Orbiting Nearby Star
Each one at a different stage of self-destruction. |
|
Bees Learn
to Push Ball to Obtain Sugary Treat
With fewer bees, we're going to need smarter bees. |
|
|
HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
|
|
Study: Cigarette Packs With
No Brand Names, Nothing But
Warnings Reduces Smoking
No one says, "I'd walk a mile for lung cancer." |
|
Psychiatric Group Diagnoses Trump
as Malignant Narcissist
With weird hair. |
|