| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 Toyota to Start Selling Its
Hydrogen-Powered Car in England
Each vehicle comes with disclaimer:
“Turning ignition twice in short succession
could result in vaporizing a city the
size of Manchester.” |
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 Apple Introduces Apple Watch Pro
Bigger face, can be hung on wall. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Kermit, on the Splits With Miss Piggy,
Has New Girlfriend on Sesame Street
Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch to wed. |
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| SPORTS |
|
 Brazil Says It Will
Be Ready in Time for 2016 Olympics
Shown: swimmer tries out aquatic course in Rio. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| A recovering economy and lower
gas prices has led to more employed people with
money to buy cars, causing: |
| A ) | More satisfaction with life. |
| B ) | More drunk drivers on the road. |
| C ) | More opportunities to text while driving. |
| D ) | More car crashes. |
| Hint: self-driving cars are on the way. |
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| EDUCATION |
|
Survey: American Adults
Get a D in Science
We're switching our major to English. |
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| RELIGION |
|
 Pope Creates First "Fast-Track
Annulments"
Available at drive-thru confessionals. |
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