| PEOPLE |
 |
 British PM
David Cameron Caught Eating Hot Dog With
Knife and Fork
Later he's caught eating a banana
with a spoon. |
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| |
| HISTORY |
|
Revealed: JFK Serenaded to Sleep
by Phone Calls From Judy Garland
Awakened by phone calls from Ethel Merman. |
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
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England: School Principals Threaten
to Report Parents to Police if Their
Kids Play “Grand Theft Auto”
And demand a stiff sentence if the kid
keeps running over prostitutes. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Starbucks Expands Two-Year
Tuition-Free College Program
For Employees
And all the coffee they need to cram for finals. |
|
 Amazon Cleared to
Begin Testing Drone Deliveries
Be prepared to duck. |
|
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| SCIENCE |
|
Large Hadron Collider Back
Online After Upgrades
Scientists hope to discover nature of dark
matter, what happened to all the antimatter,
and what does it matter? |
|
NASA Scientist Predicts
“Definitive Evidence” of
Alien Life in Next 20 Years
Followed by new wave of outsourcing jobs. |
| |
 Brontosaurus Once Again
Classified as a Dinosaur
It was improperly classified as a pet when
“The Flintstones” debuted. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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New Study: Strenuous Exercise May
Not Be Bad for You After All
Finding comes after author of old study
had to flee angry mob that stopped
exercising because of him. |
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Study: Amphetamine-Like Substance
Found in Diet Pills, Sports Supplements
Thin, athletic researchers completed study
in record time. |
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