PEOPLE |
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Jeb Bush Said to Be Seriously
Considering Running for President
Dad Liked Me Best bumper stickers
already appearing. |
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LAW |
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Court Dismisses Ex-Panamanian
Dictator Manuel Noriega's Lawsuit
Against Video Game Call of Duty
Took months for judges to stop
laughing before they could write decision. |
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BUSINESS |
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Number of Billionaires Doubles Since
Start of Financial Crisis
As many of them have kids. |
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Starbucks Plans Delivery Service
Coffee will be brought to you by an
actual barista, accompanied by an
actual bunch of out-of-work hipsters
staring at laptops. |
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Car Safety
Testers Switching to Obese Crash-Test Dummies
Being marketed as American Size crash-test dummies. |
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SCIENCE |
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Top Scientists Blame Humans for Climate Change
But don't name names. |
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Hieroglyphics on
3,000-Year-Old Disc Finally Deciphered
It reads, (continued from other disc) The End. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Country Panics Over Remote
Possibility of Ebola Outbreak
Millions fear every health expert
completely wrong. |
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Study: Chocolate Improves Memory
It helps you remember where you
hid the chocolate. |
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ENVIRONMENT |
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Secret Tape Reveals Big Oil Spending
Millions to Dig Up Embarrassing Info on
Celebrity Environmentalists
Like Ed Begley, Jr. getting a lap dance. |
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