Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 12 - 18, 2014
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PEOPLE
Monica Lewinsky Breaks Her Silence
Wanted to wait until Clintons were out of politics.
 
BUSINESS
Colorado Approves Banking
System for Pot Sellers

With free checking for you and your old lady.
Wall Street Fears Twitter in Trouble
Rumors of 141-character competitor has investors nervous.
99.5% of Wonder Bread's Political Contributions Went to Republicans
Who eat nothing but.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Auto Reliability Declines in Survey
Forty-eighth consecutive year of decline since 1966 VW Beetle.
SCIENCE
Young Blood Counters Aging in Mice
Now you'll never get rid of them.
Astronomers Identify Sun's
Sister Star 110 Light Years Away

Separated at birth, haven't seen each other in 13 billion years.
New Stonehenge Theory:
Built by Locals

About twenty years ago.
 
Study: Modern Humans No Smarter Than Neanderthals
We just look smarter.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Scientists Create First Living Organism With “Artificial” DNA
Stunning breakthrough promises cures for all diseases, administered by clones.
 
TRENDS
After 14 Years, Noah Replaces
Jacob as Most Popular Boy's Name

Most popular girl's name: Maleficent.

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