| PEOPLE |
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 Royal Pardon
Granted Posthumously to Alan Turing
Took only 61 years, and a public petition, to officially
admit that the man who saved England from certain
defeat in World War II should not have been arrested,
convicted, chemically castrated, then driven to suicide
— just because he was gay. |
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 George Zimmerman Painting Sells
on eBay for $100,000
Appraisers say it's an excellent example
of the Paranoid Primitive School. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Advice Website for McDonald's
Employees That Told Them Not
To Eat Fast Food Closed Down
For unknown reasons. |
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 Mattel Announces
New American, European Barbies
European version (right) similar to original. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Planet Found So Close to Earth It's
Receiving Our Television Transmissions
From 2006
Wait'll they see what happens to
Hannah Montana. |
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 Archeologists
in China Discover Domesticated
Cat Fossils Going Back
5,300 Years
Confirmed by DNA evidence of cat puke on
ancient carpets. |
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| REMINDER |
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You have two days to follow through
on last year's New Year's resolutions. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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Real Estate Agents Using Drones to Show
Clients Houses, Neighborhoods
Can hover inside homes, peruse owners'
financial papers, determine how desperate
they are to sell. |
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| KIDZ KORNER |
| Vocabulary
Builders |
| Dystopia n.,
look out the window. |
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