Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAR 18 - 24, 2013
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PEOPLE
Sheldon Adelson's Firm Admits to “Likely” Bribery of Chinese Officials
Also “likely” lying about it, and “likely” attempt to bribe investigators.
 
BUSINESS
37% of U.S. Gov't Contracts Intended for Small Business Went to Large Corporations
On its way to Main Street, money got lost, stumbled into Wall Street.
JP Morgan Chase Hid $6.2 Billion in Losses From Regulators
Fortunately, as country's most respected banking institution, it probably won't do so again.
Mattel to Refinance Outstanding Obligations With $500 Million Bond Sales
According to new Insider Trading Barbie.
SCIENCE
Philosophy Professor Gets $5 Million Grant to Study Immortality
Hopes to answer question, “Is there life after all the grant money is gone?”
NASA Says Ancient Mars Could Have Supported Life
Seems it was wet, temperate, with thriving civilizations, and then somebody set off the Doomsday Device.
 
Physicists Say They've Found a Higgs Boson
Or it has found them.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Americans’ Self-Reported Ideal Weight Up by 13% Since 1990
You’re looking quite slender today!
New Drug Derived From Red Wine Could Help Humans Live to 150
And enjoy every minute of it.

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