Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 4 - 10, 2013
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MISCELLANEOUS
  UN: Major Resolution Passes Unanimously
Every member backs resolution condemning cats.
 
FACTOID
Reality TV Fans More
Likely to Use Tanning Beds

Than, say, opera lovers.
 
SPORTS
Study of Basketball Referees Concludes Blowing Whistles Harms Their Hearing
Finding pleases those funding study, the National Basketball Players Association.
New “Smart” Basketball Already Being Used by High Schools, Colleges
Locates basket, goes there.
FEATURE
Democrats now have a supermajority in both houses of the California Legislature for the first time since 1883. The reason for this is:
  A )shifting demographics.
  B )more effective voter outreach.
  C )redistricting.
  D )después de la lluvia sale el sol.
Hint: ¡que sorpresa!
 
RELIGION
Cardinal Mahony’s Response to
Grass Roots Campaign Asking
Him to Renounce Right to Elect
New Pope: “God Bless You”

Or, in Latin, “Go fuck yourself.”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Mexican Border Police Confiscate Marijuana Cannon
Purchased at American gun show as T-shirt cannon.

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