| ENTERTAINMENT |
 |
 Robin to Be Killed Off
in Upcoming Batman Comic
After he's discovered in Bat Tub
with Green Lantern. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
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Report: Horse a Hidden Ingredient in Many European Foods
For example, horseradish and hors d'oeuvres. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Oracle CEO Buys Hawaiian Island, Lanai,
Then Airline to Get There, Then Gives
Millions to Poor
Actually, he didn’t give millions to poor, but
other stuff is true. |
|
BP, Halliburton, Trans Ocean Blame Each
Other in Civil Suit to Assign Penalties for
Gulf Spill
Just a shame somebody has to win. |
|
 Titanic II to
Set Sail in 2016
Identical to original in every way, including an
inadequate number of lifeboats. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Scientists: 72 is the New 30
Unfortunately, 30 is the new 68. |
| |
 Report: Humans
Kill 100 Million Sharks Each Year
Shark has better chance of being killed by human
than winning lottery. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Sugar, Mostly in Sodas, Linked
To Type 2 Diabetes
Study's conclusion reached after asking just
about anybody. |
|
Study: Mediterranean Diet Cuts
Risk of Heart Disease by 30%
Unfortunately, Mediterranean economy makes
it unaffordable. |
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| EDUCATION |
|
One-Third of Student Loans
In 2012 Delinquent
As were a lot of the students. |
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