| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 Google Earth
Satellite Images Reveal North Korea Prison Camps
And if you really zoom in you can see prison
guards sunbathing in the altogether. |
|
|
 Watson
Supercomputer to Attend College
Already being rushed by nerd fraternity. |
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Spam Hits Five-Year Low
According to report you can access at cheapmeds.com. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
New York City: Transportation
Dept. Removing All “Don't Honk” Signs From Streets
Cab drivers end twenty-week hunger strike,
return to work. |
|
 Chuck
E. Cheese Enters Rehab
Family, friends alarmed by popular
rodent's personality changes,
sudden, dramatic weight loss. |
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| PUBLISHING |
|
Tolkien Estate Embroiled in
Legal Battle Over Lord of
The Rings Slot Machines
So far lawyers no match for Orcs. |
| |
| FACTOID |
|
Walmart Heirs' Wealth
Exceeds Combined Wealth of
Bottom 40% of Americans
Namely, their customers. |
| |
| SPORTS |
 |
|
Over 1 Billion
Watch Super Bowl
One-third drunk, one-third stoned,
one-third drunk and stoned. |
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| RELIGION |
|
Disgraced Cardinal Mahony, Relieved of
His Duties, Can Still Vote for Pope
Will join Pedophile Caucus. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Hitler's Toilet Turns
Up In New Jersey Auto Repair Shop
Owner says he also has Marie Antoinette's bidet. |
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