| PEOPLE |
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Fashionable NBA Stars Wearing
Lensless Glasses
But only for reading. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Hatfield-McCoy Kin Sought For Reality
TV Show
Must be able to fight, cuss, drink. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Latvian Airline to Seat Passengers Based
on Their Mood
Angry, suicidal passengers in rear, fearful,
anxious passengers up front. |
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Burger King Now Offering Bacon
Sundaes
And stents. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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Supercomputer Being Assembled
In Wyoming Will Be Able to
Perform 1.5 Quadrillion
Calculations Per Second
To help Romney with his taxes. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Voyager I About to Leave Solar System
On interstellar journey to introduce rest of universe to Chuck Berry. |
| |
 Mysterious Unmanned
Space Plane Lands in California Desert After 15-Month
Mission
Its mission: to test the effectiveness of various explanations
for sending an unmanned space plane into orbit for fifteen
months without it being solely for espionage. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Sperm of Older Men Extends
Lifespan of Kids, Grandkids
Really old guys advise hot young women
to only have sex with really old guys. |
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Diesel Engine Fumes Do Cause Cancer,
Says World Health Organization
Better pull out and pass that semi, double line or no. |
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