Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DEC 26, 2011 - JAN 1, 2012
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THE YEAR IN PICTURES
 
Herman Cain Drops Out of Race
After consulting with his team of advisers.
 
Federal Budget Pie Chart Getting Makeover
Whipped cream, cherry being added to Pentagon's slice.
 
Rapture Snafu
Hundreds of believers leave clothes behind, fail to ascend to heaven.
 
Gobi Desert Enigma Divides Scientific Community
Some say they're "mysterious lines," others say they're "unexplained geometric markings."
 
New $100 Bills Use 3-D Technology
And Ben Franklin speaks!
2011
 
CDC Recommends Preparing for All Disasters, Including Zombies
Always have a hatchet and torch handy.
 
First Lady: President's Quit Smoking
But now addicted to crack.
 
U.S. Postal Service Headed for Bankruptcy
Will soon replace "Forever" stamps with "Whatever" stamps.
 
Price of Gold Soars
After report of imminent global economic collapse is announced by Glenn Beck (who sells gold).
 
Sarah Palin Kicks Off Run for Presidency
Of Hell's Angels.

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