POLITICS |
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Gingrich
Publicly Pledges Personal Fidelity
to His Third Wife
Pledge similar in wording to those he made
to two previous wives. |
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Romney Says
Blue Cheese His Favorite Salad Dressing
But as Governor, it was Ranch, later Thousand
Island, after that Italian. |
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More Talk of Possible Third
Party
Made up of disgruntled moderates, angry
centrists and apoplectic middle-of-the-roaders. |
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MEDIA |
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Fox Business News Hosts Call Muppets
Communists
Except Miss Piggy. |
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BUSINESS |
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NTSB Urges Nationwide Cellphone Ban
for Drivers
Better call your congressman as soon as you pass
this idiot driving the speed limit in the left lane. |
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SCIENCE |
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Scientists Searching for
Elusive Higgs Boson See Tantalizing Hints
Of further research grants. |
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Government Temporarily Halts All
Research Using Chimpanzees
To honor release of Planet of the Apes in Blu-ray. |
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Mars
Rover Ends Its Mission
Sends back one last intriguing picture
before going dead. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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FDA Says Risk Warnings on Lap Band
Surgery Ads Not Legible
Though lasik surgery may help you see them better. |
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