| PEOPLE |
 |
 |
Prince:
Internet is
“Dead”
Prince, apparently,
isn't. |
|
| |
| PUBLISHING |
|
New Palin Biography Aimed at
Children
After adults said they wouldn't read it. |
| |
| MEDIA |
|
Al Qaeda Publishing Glossy
Magazine
Featuring Virgin of the Month centerfold. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Study: Rich More Likely to
Default on Their Mortgage
And move into their beach house. |
|
 All
Candy Cigarette Sales Banned in
U.S.
Cost of candy cigarettes jumps to
$200 a pack. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Early Humans Settled in
England 800,000 Years Ago
Evidence: fossilized overcooked
vegetables. |
|
 Revealed:
Image of Universe Moment
After Big Bang
Photo courtesy Parallel
Universe Syndicate. |
|
|
 Study:
Neanderthals Had Popeye-Like Arms
And Swee'Pea-like brains. |
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| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Anxiety Worsens Prognosis
For Heart Patients
So if you’re having a heart attack,
relax! |
|
Delaying Start Time of High
School
Helps Students Physically, Mentally
“But I had to show up at 8AM, and goddammit,
so will you.” |
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