| PEOPLE |
 |
After Seven
Years, Bush Says “It
Was All a Joke”
Real president was
Cheney. |
|
 |
|
| |
| INTERNET |
|
Undersea Cable Problem
Disrupts Internet Across India
Thanks for calling, our next available
customer service representative will
assist you in approximately three weeks. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Starbucks Closing 100 Stores
In one neighborhood. |
|
Finally Some Good News
For Average American
Exxon Mobil, Chevron post record profits. |
|
 Microsoft
Nerds Make Bid for Yahoo Nerds
Google nerds nervous. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Chinese Report Success
Preventing Rain
Now in talks with Major League Baseball. |
|
Breakthrough: Deep-Brain
Stimulation Reverses Memory Loss
Promises time when “I can't
recall” will no longer be heard in
congressional hearings. |
| |
 Polar
Bears to Be Placed on
Protected List
And terrorist
watch list. |
|
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
FDA Warns Pfizer’s
Anti-Smoking Drug May Lead to Suicidal
Behavior
Like smoking. |
|
Fewer Americans Now on Diets
As Oprah goes, so goes the nation. |
| |
| HIGH TECH |
|
Using Radio Size of Grain of
Sand, Researchers Tune in
Baltimore Traffic Report
Traffic still jammed. |
|
