| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 Easter Island
Statues Among 21
Finalists for New
“7 Wonders of the
World”
Winners will be flown to
U.S. for TV special. |
|
|
More Couples Sleeping in
Separate Bedrooms
Survey financed by Sealy, Serta, Simmons,
Stearns & Foster, Posturepedic. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
NFL Toughens Steroids Policy
Stops distributing clean needles to
players before games. |
| |
| CORRECTION |
| |
| We reported
that an unknown number of
prisoners were hauled before a
secret Russian military court in
Siberia where they were not
allowed lawyers or to confront
their accusers or see the
evidence against them and that
what happened during the secret
proceedings could not be
determined but that the Russian
government promised to release a
censored transcript at some time,
minus prisoners' claims of
mistreatment. In fact, these
secret proceedings occurred at a
United States military tribunal
in Guantanamo, Cuba. We apologize
for any confusion caused by our
mistake. |
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| Republicans have demanded
that Democrats in
Congress withdraw their
invitation to the
nation’s largest
Islamic civil rights
organization to use a
conference room in the
Capitol, because: |
| A ) | the
civil rights group are
"terrorist
apologists." |
| B ) | the
conference room is
probably already booked. |
| C ) | the
group is infiltrated by
Martians. |
| Hint: Republicans
have nothing against
Martians. |
|
|
|
| |
| RELIGION |
|
Pope Punishes Salvadoran
Priest Who Spoke on Behalf of Poor,
Advocated Human Rights
Disciplined for being “too
Christ-like.” |
|
Canadian Scholar Studying
Relationship Between Linguistic
Meaning, Theology Wins
$1.5 Million Templeton Prize
Says he'll use money for hookers. |
|
