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BUSH MEETS WITH GENERALS,
CONSIDERS SHIFT IN WAR TACTICS
Meanwhile, Shiite militias briefly seize
control of Alexandria, Virginia. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Violent Protests Mar
Reburial of Peron
Argentinean mobs fear another musical
starring Madonna. |
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Cheney: Things Going
“Remarkably Well” in Iraq
Reality “in its last throes.” |
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HIGH TECH |
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Scientists
Create Cloak of
Invisibility
Duke University scientist
David Shurig (right)
makes announcement. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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James Baker to Recommend
Alternative to “Stay the Course”
Or “Cut and Run”
Most likely: “Sit and Spin” or
“Shuck and Jive.” |
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U.S. Population Passes 300
Million
Makes us eligible for special bulk
discounts. |
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REMINDER |
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Power corrupts, and absolute power is even better. |
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Bush Calls for Greater Military
Control of Space Program
Won't rule out preemptive strike on
Mars. |
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Joint Chiefs Chairman General
Pace Says “The Good Lord”
Tells Rumsfeld What to Do
Even God now going around Bush. |
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POLITICS |
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During National Character
Week, Bush Campaigns for Candidate
Accused of Trying to Strangle Mistress
Points out mistress still alive. |
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