Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 2 - 8, 2006
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PEOPLE IN THE NEWS
Iran's President Ahmadinejad Makes First Commercial
His spot for V8 vegetable juice won't be shown in this country.
 
PUBLISHING
This Week’s Best-Seller List
 
 1.State of Denial
 2.Hubris
 3.Fiasco
 4.Debacle
 5.Boondoggle
 
BUSINESS
Working Mother Magazine Lists Best
Companies for Working Mothers

Working mothers too busy to read list.
Japanese Bank Offers Roulette
At ATMs

Promotion: “What happens at ATM stays at ATM.”
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Wireless Rabbits Fun to Watch, Also Perform Crucial Task
When their batteries die out, it means you're pregnant.
SCIENCE
New Evidence: Universe More Egg- Shaped Than Spherical
Conclusion: God more chicken-shaped than human.
Newest Satellite Passes First Test
Eventually 160 Peeping Toms will orbit Earth, sending back high quality images of naked celebrities from space.
Last Chromosome of Human Genome Decoded
DNA sequence translates roughly as “uninstall.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New York City to Limit Trans
Fats in Restaurant Food

If you want French Fries, you'll have to go to New Jersey.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Vocabulary Builders
serious adj. extreme, as in allowable infliction of lawful “serious pain,” defined as “bodily injury which causes extreme physical pain” - U.S. Congress, 9/28/06

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