| SPORTS |
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Baseball:
Cheney Booed By Some Fans
On Opening Day
Also booed by some players, coaches,
batboys, grounds crew, vendors,
mascots, PA announcer. |
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| FACTOID |
|
One in Twenty Workers in U.S. Illegal
Other nineteen legal, but lazy, unreliable. |
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| KIDZ KORNER |
Write
Your Own News Story! Just
fill in the blanks on
this Reusable News
Template!
Evidence has surfaced
today that _____, the
____ of _____, a
notorious _______, met
with President Bush in
the White House in ___ of
200_, a meeting arranged
by Jack Abramoff. ___
paid Abramoff for
arranging the meeting by
giving $__,___,___ to
____, a charity
organization set up by
Abramoff in a beach house
in _____. The nonprofit
organization has been
unable to produce any
records of charity work
it performed, but did pay
$__,___ in consulting
fees to the wife of
_____, an Abramoff
associate identified in
court filings as
"Congressman
__." The White House
said only that President
Bush meets with many ____
leaders and does not
recall meeting the ____
of _____, who was later
charged with ________ and
_______ and is now at
large. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| Despite
opposition from health
and environmental groups
and 39 state attorneys
general, The National
Uniformity for Food Act
passed the House without
a single public hearing
because: |
| A ) | nobody
likes to read a lot of
gloomy health warnings on
their food. |
| B ) | arsenic,
mercury and lead are all
part of our natural
ecology. |
| C ) | the
food industry made $81
million in campaign
contributions to members
of Congress. |
| Hint: $81 million
pays for a lot of
symposia in Bermuda on
campaign finance reform. |
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| INTERNET |
|
Experts Warn of Widescale,
Sophisticated Web Attacks
By high school dropouts for the most part. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
 Bush's
Parents Cut Ribbon on New
Domed Stadium
It will house thousands
of disadvantaged
hurricane victims. |
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