| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
 |
Beer-Bots Chill, Open,
Pour Beer for You
And they run on urine. |
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Prince Charles Warns Fellow
Brits
Not to Get Fat Like Americans
“Play polo, do the gavotte,” he
advises. |
|
Scots Target National Dish
Haggis in Anti-Obesity Drive
Although it's hard to resist a heaping
bowl of sheep's organs boiled inside its
own stomach. |
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
|
Report: Greenland Glaciers
Melting Much Faster Than Previously
Estimated
Like last Thursday. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Millions Miss Super Bowl
Pre-game show goes four hours over. |
| |
| CORRECTION |
| |
| In a recent
article, we misquoted James
Hansen, director of NASA's
Goddard Institute for Space
Studies as warning of "dire
consequences" if the U.S.
did not change its policies
regarding emissions which
contribute to global warming. In
fact, it was NASA which warned
Hansen of "dire
consequences" if he didn't
shut up about global warming.
We regret the confusion. |
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| In his State of
the Union address, President Bush
pledged to reduce Middle
East oil imports 75% by
2025. How long did it
take his energy secretary
and his national economic
advisor to explain that
he didn't actually mean
that? |
| |
A ) |
Six days. |
| |
B ) |
Three days. |
| |
C ) |
12 hours. |
|
Hint: Not a good idea
to leave our good friends
in Saudi Arabia unhappy
too long. |
|
| The
Constitution is: |
| |
A ) |
a good idea which has
outlived its time. |
| |
B ) |
quaint, naive. |
| |
C ) |
subject to presidential
interpretation. |
| |
D ) |
pre-9/11 thinking. |
|
Hint: More than one
answer is acceptable. |
|
|
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
World's
Smallest Fish Caught
But you shoulda seen the
one that got away. |
|
 |
|
|
