| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
Japan: New
Device Remotely Controls
Humans
Should appeal to the
megalomaniac who has
everything. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
President of Kalmykia Offers
$1 Million to Put Lenin's
Body on Display in Elista
Ripley's Museum in Times Square offers $2
million. |
|
Playboy Names Top Ten Party
Schools
They're also the top ten schools in
number of applicants. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Basketball: Mike Krzyzewski
Picked To Coach U.S. Olympic Team
American officials feel he has enough
consonants in his name to compete with
foreign squads. |
| |
| THIS WEEK'S PUZZLER |
|
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| George Bush will
pardon Scooter Libby: |
| A ) | Now,
so we can focus on the
important work the
American people need to
do. |
| B ) | Not
until Libby is actually
convicted, so as not to
prejudge the case. |
| C ) | On
his last day in office,
to minimize the damage,
lump him in with whoever
else needs pardoning by
then. |
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| LAW |
|
Intelligent Design Trial
Hopes to Wrap Up Soon
Courthouse needed for Santa Claus, Easter
Bunny trials. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
|
Report: World
Series “Fixed”
Eight Astro players bribed $10,000 each
to “throw” four games to White
Sox. |
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