BUSH: SOCIAL
SECURITY WILL
RUN OUT OF
FUNDS BY 2042
Just before we run out of fossil fuels, say experts. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Castro Calls Bush
Deranged
Makes charge during six-hour State of the
Dictatorship speech in Havana. |
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Axis of Evil Expels Iraq
May be readmitted in a few years, says
Axis spokesman. |
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Bush Warns Iran Not to Meddle
in Iraq
And don't interfere with our intelligence
units secretly operating in Iran, either. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Yogi Berra
Sues TBS for Using His
Name in Racy TV Ad
They never gave me
permission to use
it, he says. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Rumsfeld Twice Offered to
Resign During Abu Ghraib Scandal
Both times to spend more time with his
family. |
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U.S. Marine General: It's
Fun to Shoot Some People
But not yourself, in the foot. |
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REMINDER
You’re smarter than some of the
earliest computers. |
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White House Chef Leaving
After 11 Years
He'll return to his old job at Arby's. |
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Viagra Covered Under New
Medicare Drug Plan
After relentless lobbying by Bob Dole. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Nixon Tapes Returned to
Nixon Library
It's about [expletive deleted]
time. says curator. |
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