Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAY 3 - 9, 2004
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POLITICS
Diebold Electronic Voting System Gets Tryout
Test voters click once for Bush, twice for Nader, three times for LaRouche, and for Kerry, one long click, followed by two shorts, a long, then a long-short-long combination.
 
PUBLISHING
People Magazine Unveils “50 Most Beautiful People”
As picked by millions of ugly readers.
 
SPORTS
Baseball Attendance Soaring Since Steroid Scandal Broke
Some clubs hurriedly add “Injection Night” promotions to their schedule.
Olympics: U.S. Ping-Pong Team Selected
Though not among the favorites, they say they'll give it their best shot.
IRONIC TIMES POLL
Poll: Half of Those Eligible
Won’t Vote

Reasons for not voting are many and varied.       ( Statistics courtesy League of
      Women Non-Voters. )
 
ODDS AND ENDS
Survey: 25% of Workers
Sleep on the Job

Poll conducted among employees of various intelligence agencies.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
President's Motorcade Flash
Frozen by Sudden Ice Age

Just as new movie predicted.

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