Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 5 - 11, 2004
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TRAVEL
Statue of Liberty to Reopen in July
Following detox, rehab, counseling, makeover.
RELIGION
Pope: Sunday is For Prayer,
Not Sports

Especially if you’re trailing by ten points with two minutes left.
 
SPORTS
American Baseball Season
Opens in Tokyo

Japanese sumo wrestling season opens in Cincinnati.
Baseball: Players Fear Steroid Testing
“I think we got the message,” says Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa (shown, batting).
FEATURE
Five Signs That Your Job May Be Outsourced
1.  You're asked to describe your job in a way someone from Bangalore can understand.
2.  You're asked how much you're making in rupees.
3.  You're asked if you'd be willing to relocate to another city where shoes are optional.
4.  Everything in your office has been marked with stick-on price tags.
5.  Your supervisor is nominated for Cost-Cutter of the Month.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
"America's Army" Videogame Attracting Teens to Military Service
Once enlisted, they can play "Grand Theft, Country."
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Locusts Blanket Much of Earth's
Land Mass

Signals end of current epoch.

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