| PEOPLE |
 |
 Jimmy Dean
Fired by Jimmy Dean Pork
Sausage
Company, saying it's
“going in a
different
direction,” will
sell product as James
Dean Pork Sausage. |
|
| |
| LAW |
 |
|
Litigants in
Trial Of Plastic Surgeon
Appear In Court
They are not expected to
testify. |
|
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Patriots Fans Riot One Week
After Super Bowl
They're TiVo owners. |
|
 |
Lingerie
Football League Planned
Thirty-two teams will
play sixteen-game
schedule, culminating in
Orgy Bowl. |
|
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| To make sure Justice
Scalia would not be
biased in Vice President
Cheney's upcoming Supreme
Court case, which of the
following did Cheney NOT
do for Scalia during
their recent duck hunting
vacation together? |
| A ) | Flew him to resort on
Air Force Two. |
| B ) | Paid for his meals and
lodging. |
| C ) | Bought him new hunting
outfit and rifle. |
| D ) | Commissioned and
produced musical
extravaganza,
"Hello,
Antonin!" |
|
|
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
 |
| |
Cubans Caught Trying to Sail
'59 Buick to U.S.
They planned to sell car to collectors,
then swim back to Cuba. |
|
