HEIGHTENED
SECURITY ALERT ISSUED
Next alert may include
cats. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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U.S. Sets Conditions for
Peacekeeping Missions
We get top billing, our own trailer, and
immunity from prosecution. |
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| BUSINESS |
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No CEO's, CFO's Caught
Stealing Today
But it's still early. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Michael Jackson Accuses
Sony of Cheating Blacks
Says he feels sorry for his black friends. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Temperature Hits 200º in
Boston
Symposium on global warming forced to
move inside. |
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Federal Election Commission
Expands Campaign Finance Loopholes
Trucks lining up to drive through. |
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Drunk Pilots Fired by America
West Airlines
Hired by Wild West Airlines. |
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REMINDER
Wear shoes to your
next job interview. |
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Alabama Drops Electric Chair in
Favor of Lethal Injections
Poison salesmen out-lobby electricity
salesmen for lucrative contract. |
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Cigarettes Now $7.50 a Pack
in NYC
Even secondhand smoke too expensive for
most people. |
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Crack Found on 3rd Space
Shuttle
Five astronauts in rehab. |
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Report: Drinking Too Much
Water Can Kill You
Drink a minimum of eight glasses a day,
but not one drop more, says study. |
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