| PEOPLE |
 |
Dalai Lama Punches Out Photographer
Cameraman able to snap one picture before
getting knocked unconscious by exiled Tibetan holy
man. |
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| EDUCATION |
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Report: Nearly Half of All
Grades at Harvard Are A's
Due to proliferation of easy courses,
like “Introduction to Long
Division,” “Spelling 101,”
and “History of the World Wrestling
Federation.” |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Excite@Home, Enron Merge
New company will combine assets of both
to make one bankruptcy filing |
|
Philbin to
Replace Embattled
O'Neill at Treasury
He'll ask easier
questions of corporations
needing bailouts. |
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NEWS
QUIZ
1.
Environmental Protection
Agency head Christie Todd
Whitman has proposed
sweeping changes in the
regulation of power plant
pollution favored by:
A) the Sierra Club
B) Harry Potter and the
Prisoner of Azkaban
C) the power industry
2. Complete the following
sentence:
Since 70% of U.S.
students did not do well
enough in nationwide
science exams to be
considered
"proficient,"
the best way to make sure
these scores improve is
to:
A) pray for better
science teachers
B) spend more money to
train and hire
better science teachers
C) make the tests easier
3. The Northern Alliance
would have waited
politely on the outskirts
of Kabul like we asked
them to instead of
entering it if:
A) we had asked them
really, really nicely
B) the Taliban had also
requested it
C) pigs flew out of
Donald Rumsfeld's ass
singing "Over the
Rainbow" in Pashto
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