PEOPLE |
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BILL CLINTON
TRADING CARDS MAKE THEIR
DEBUT
Each pack contains six cards,
one stick of bubble gum,
one condom. |
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ENTERTAINMENT |
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Miss America Pageant to
Borrow from Survivor,
Weakest Link
Contestants will be forced to eat rats,
humiliate each other. |
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Variety's Bart Bashed
As Bigoted Bastard
Paper's prexy pounded for pitching pix, pimping
pals, prostituting press. |
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BUSINESS |
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McDonald's Posts
Ingredients
On Web Site
Sales plummet, bankruptcy imminent. |
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Kermit the Frog
Reported Missing in
France
It was just his first
visit there, says a
distraught spokesman. |
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SCIENCE |
|
Astronomers Find Solar
System Like Ours
Similarities striking, with one exception: no
designated hitter. |
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X-Rays Reveal Arrow Killed
5,300 Year-Old Bronze Age Iceman
Gave wrong answer to wife's question,
Does this goat skin make me look
fat? |
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World's Most
Powerful Computer Begins
Operation
ASCI White will attempt to
defeat a chicken at tic-tac-toe. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Scientists Defend Human Cloning
Claim it's needed until realistic robots come along. |
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New study: Pollution From
Cars Kills More People
Than Car Accidents
Wunnerful news, says
executive director of National
Association of Drunk Drivers. |
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