HISTORY |
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Grant Now Viewed
More Favorably
New scholarship portrays him as
saving the Union and single-handedly
reviving the distillery industry. |
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LIFESTYLE |
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More Burger King Kids
Meal Toddler Toys Rated Defective
Choke-on-me Flav-R Balls, Poke-Me
Poke-You Stiks, and Hot-Hot Don't-
Touch! Fire Game among recalls. |
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PEOPLE |
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President's 3 Favorite
Books
Revealed by First Lady
They are: The Prince and the Pauper,
The Little Prince, and The
Prince. |
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PICTURE OF THE
WEEK |
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Penguins Finally
Return Christmas Presents
Additional time was
allowed for the
slow-footed animals. |
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GUEST COLUMN |
My Turn
by Goofy |
Garsh, people are always asking me a
question that has puzzled our greatest
thinkers for years and years, and that
question is: What am I? Man? Dog? Horse?
Two guys in a suit? |
Shucks, I don't rightly know. But I
can say with some degree of certitude
that my creator, Uncle Walt, is not
cryogenically preserved in ice, nosiree
Bob. People who say that just want to
believe he'll come back some day,
like Jesus, but he won't, so forget
it. |
Now, if anyone knows what I am, I'd
like to hear from them. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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New Poll
Finds Bush #1
Jenna most popular first daughter ever. |
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