HOUSE PASSES
ENERGY BILL
Big
rush to explore for oil
drilling sites causes
massive traffic jam at
Alaskan National Wildlife
Refuge (right). |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Next G-8 Summit May Be on
Moon
Mars, Venus, Pluto also under
consideration. |
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Prince Charles Hurt in Polo
Mishap
Person riding him is also injured. |
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Rest of World Angry at U.S.
for Isolationist Policies
Threatens to shut off supply of reality
show concepts, “small” films. |
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Vieques Voters Want Navy Out
Analysts ponder why islanders don't
want to be bombed. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS |
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Ventriloquists'
Dummies Set to Strike
Say they're tired of being
treated like second-class citizens. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Bush Has His Best Week in Office
Wins on limiting patients' rights, despoiling the planet. |
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Man Given Monkey Brain
Doing Better
Now watching TV. |
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“Rolling Depressions”
Predicted
By Greenspan
But shouldn't last more
than an hour or two. |
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 REMINDER
Smoke
responsibly. |
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Bush to Support All Election
Reform Recommendations Except One
Will not admit he lost and resign. |
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FDA Approves Cheaper,
Generic Prozac
Whatever. |
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U.S. Surplus Not That
Big, Says Treasury
Bush demands a recount. |
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House Rejects Cloning for
Scientific Research
But okays cloning for pranks, practical jokes |
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