| MOST DISTANT OBJECT PHOTOGRAPHED |
British observatory discovers
huge white arrow 6.2
billion light-years from
earth. |
|
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
IOC Accepts Beijing's
Bid
To Host 2008 Olympics
Chinese offer more money, prostitutes
than competing cities. |
|
France Celebrates Bastille Day
Hundreds of tourists sent to the guillotine. |
|
Israel Makes Peace Gesture
To Palestinians
Will stop bombing after 10 PM. |
|
Chilean Court Finds Pinochet
"Unfit" for Trial
Former dictator does backflip and
cartwheels when told. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
|
Socks Finds
Way Back to White
House
Bushes have her put to
sleep. |
|
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|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
GOP Patients' Rights Bill
Offered
Would allow doctors to sue patients. |
|
Bush Calls in Top Advisors to
Discuss Important Issues
Says he wants to be “part of the
loop.” |
|
California Closes Due
To Energy Crisis
Will reopen in September. |
|
Microsoft Relents
Will let consumers operate their own
brains. |
| |
Bush
Approval Rating Down
Slightly
More
now believe he's a
“dangerous
fool,” fewer rate
him, “harmless
idiot.” |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Census: Texas Population
Drops for First Time
Thanks to increased number of executions. |
|
“At the End of the
Day” Voted
Most Overused Phrase
Edges out “24-7,” and
“It's all good” at annual
ClichéFest. |
|
