SPORTS |
|
Rain Delays
Twins Game
Postponed for 40 days and
40 nights. |
|
|
|
|
Newest Heavyweight Champ
Knocks Self Out
Wins, loses title; demands, agrees to
rematch. |
|
Fantasy Baseball Leagues Pass
Real Ones in Popularity
We're thrilled, says
imaginary spokesperson. |
|
XFL Ends Season On
Up Note
No one killed. |
|
RELIGION |
|
Rap
Officially Declared
"The Devil's
Music"
Replaces
rock and roll, which
replaced boogie-woogie,
jazz, Dixieland, ragtime. |
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|
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COKE-PEPSI COMPARISON |
|
It's the
real thing |
Christina
Aguilera |
Russia |
C.I.A |
Army, Air Force |
B-52's, Minuteman,
Titan missiles |
Fructose
(derived from corn syrup) |
|
|
|
The joy
of cola |
Britney
Spears |
China |
N.S.A. |
Navy, Marines |
F-18's, Trident,
Cruise missiles |
Fructose (derived
from corn syrup). |
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|
|
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LIFESTYLE |
|
Mental Capacity of Parents
Fluctuates Over Time, Say Children
Study shows decline, recovery. |
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